Contents:

·         Cat

·         Caterpillar

·         Christmas When

·         Frankie Wankie

·         Junira Nations

·         Approaching Twenty

·         Mná

·         Joan Maguire

·         My Love Bites

·         Lily White Breast

·         Alan Mullally’s Song (Now I’m Leaving)

·         The Hero

·         Kim Bassinger’s Diet

·         Statue

·         The Great God Pan

·         Worms

·         Spare a Thought

·         Resolution

·         Jimmy Loves Mary

·         Books

·         In Slattery’s

·         Krunchy and Milady

·         The Da

·         The Great Six-O

·         My Garden

·         Female Modes of Dress (or The Miniskirt)

·         Good Morning

·         The Dance in the Village Hall

·         Typing Section

·         Vacant Mood

·         Do You Yen for a Feel

·         Obsessed

·         Silver Wedding

·         Corrakit

·         The Civil Servant

·         The New Daughter of Houlihan

·         Mayo in July

·         Home Computers

·         Lewinsky

·         Jacussy

·         Tit Shaking

·         Paddy Macaroni

·         Hour on a Bean

The Outrageous Poems of Krunchie Killeen:

CHRISTMAS WHEN

Do you remember Christmas when

You were a few years past the age of ten

And Santa Claus had lost his spell

And magic: it was fading?

And big guys left your sister home

And kissed and mauled her by the door

While you lay in your bed alone

Quietly masturbating?

And up jumped Saint Peter, inside your head.

With wrath and ire he sternly said:

“You will regret this when you are dead

And in the arms of Satan.”

And Satan slipped in with a smile,

Saying, “Friend, fulfil what you desire;

Then come and sit down in my fire,

Until your ass be aching.”

And then a bomb burst in your tool

And your tummy became a sea of gruel,

All of which began to give to Yule

A new interpretation.

Copyright

You may copy the poems for your own amusement, but you may not distribute or perform any poem publicly or for reward until you have obtained my consent.

Free Access!

Support Free Access! If you have enjoyed some or all of the poems, please make a small Donation (e.g., $5). Payments are by PAYPAL secure payment system.

Now Visit Krunchies’ Verse Blog to view his current oeuvre. 

Don’t Miss: The Art of Diarmaid Killeen