Contents:

·         Cat

·         Caterpillar

·         Christmas When

·         Frankie Wankie

·         Junira Nations

·         Approaching Twenty

·         Mná

·         Joan Maguire

·         My Love Bites

·         Lily White Breast

·         Alan Mullally’s Song (Now I’m Leaving)

·         The Hero

·         Kim Bassinger’s Diet

·         Statue

·         The Great God Pan

·         Worms

·         Spare a Thought

·         Resolution

·         Jimmy Loves Mary

·         Books

·         In Slattery’s

·         Krunchy and Milady

·         The Da

·         The Great Six-O

·         My Garden

·         Female Modes of Dress (or The Miniskirt)

·         Good Morning

·         The Dance in the Village Hall

·         Typing Section

·         Vacant Mood

·         Do You Yen for a Feel

·         Obsessed

·         Silver Wedding

·         Corrakit

·         The Civil Servant

·         The New Daughter of Houlihan

·         Mayo in July

·         Home Computers

·         Lewinsky

·         Jacussy

·         Tit Shaking

·         Paddy Macaroni

·         Hour on a Bean

The Outrageous Poems of Krunchie Killeen:

LEWINSKY

Every married man would like

A Lewinsky in his office;

And, I suggest, a clever wife

Will turn this to her profit.

She knows from that nervous smile

That spreads across a husband's face

That some sort of surreptitious joys

Engage her happy mate.

She doesn't fly into a rage,

Demanding explanations;

But showers him with compliments

And loving declarations.

She knows a guilty husband will

Double his attention;

So can derive more quality time

Because of his attrition.

She doesn't tell him that she knows,

And knows not if he knows

She knows, or if he knows she knows

He knows she knows.

In her mind she keeps a quiet account

Of favours that she's owed,

And, at a whim, will often bid him

Kiss her tacky toes.

So, a married woman can benefit from

A Lewinsky in the office,

And, so long as it is not let out,

Can turn it to her profit.

Copyright

You may copy the poems for your own amusement, but you may not distribute or perform any poem publicly or for reward until you have obtained my consent.

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