Contents:

·         Cat

·         Caterpillar

·         Christmas When

·         Frankie Wankie

·         Junira Nations

·         Approaching Twenty

·         Mná

·         Joan Maguire

·         My Love Bites

·         Lily White Breast

·         Alan Mullally’s Song (Now I’m Leaving)

·         The Hero

·         Kim Bassinger’s Diet

·         Statue

·         The Great God Pan

·         Worms

·         Spare a Thought

·         Resolution

·         Jimmy Loves Mary

·         Books

·         In Slattery’s

·         Krunchy and Milady

·         The Da

·         The Great Six-O

·         My Garden

·         Female Modes of Dress (or The Miniskirt)

·         Good Morning

·         The Dance in the Village Hall

·         Typing Section

·         Vacant Mood

·         Do You Yen for a Feel

·         Obsessed

·         Silver Wedding

·         Corrakit

·         The Civil Servant

·         The New Daughter of Houlihan

·         Mayo in July

·         Home Computers

·         Lewinsky

·         Jacussy

·         Tit Shaking

·         Paddy Macaroni

·         Hour on a Bean

The Outrageous Poems of Krunchie Killeen:

RESOLUTION

On this, the first of January,

Let each man raise his beer

And make a solemn resolution

For the coming year.

Resolve not rash, but wisely;

The world is in a mess.

To make it a happier place

We all must do our best.

Now, you could battle poverty,

But of this you can be sure,

The rich will get still richer

And the poor ones will stay poor.

Well, you could join the Legion

And wage a war on sin;

But you'd only break your feckin’ heart

In a cause you know can't win.

You could, of course, campaign for peace

And try to stop the bombs;

But face the truth, whatever you do,

The troubles will still go on.

Inflation, strife, injustice,

Disasters and pollution:

The world is full of problems, friend,

For which you've no solution.

Then, is there nothing you can do,

But worry all day long

About the world's misfortunes

And how everything's gone wrong?

If you're to improve the world,

There's but one place to start:

Eliminate the misery

Inside in your own heart.

So, let's join the drinking brotherhood,

Who night by night get pissed,

And banish misfortune

In an alcoholic mist!

Copyright

You may copy the poems for your own amusement, but you may not distribute or perform any poem publicly or for reward until you have obtained my consent.

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