Contents:

·         Cat

·         Caterpillar

·         Christmas When

·         Frankie Wankie

·         Junira Nations

·         Approaching Twenty

·         Mná

·         Joan Maguire

·         My Love Bites

·         Lily White Breast

·         Alan Mullally’s Song (Now I’m Leaving)

·         The Hero

·         Kim Bassinger’s Diet

·         Statue

·         The Great God Pan

·         Worms

·         Spare a Thought

·         Resolution

·         Jimmy Loves Mary

·         Books

·         In Slattery’s

·         Krunchy and Milady

·         The Da

·         The Great Six-O

·         My Garden

·         Female Modes of Dress (or The Miniskirt)

·         Good Morning

·         The Dance in the Village Hall

·         Typing Section

·         Vacant Mood

·         Do You Yen for a Feel

·         Obsessed

·         Silver Wedding

·         Corrakit

·         The Civil Servant

·         The New Daughter of Houlihan

·         Mayo in July

·         Home Computers

·         Lewinsky

·         Jacussy

·         Tit Shaking

·         Paddy Macaroni

·         Hour on a Bean

The Outrageous Poems of Krunchie Killeen:

THE GREAT SIX - O

The great Six-O to me has come;

Another phase of life begun;

Family grown and duty done;

Pass on my mantle to my son;

Fuck it!

Now my mind begins to dwell

On pleasures that I Should know well,

But never knew, the truth to tell,

Or of which I only got the smell;

Fuck it!

The many things I have not done,

Jumped from a plane, the Channel swum;

All Ireland medals never won,

Nor in the Eurovision sung;

Fuck it!

All the pleasures that I have missed;

All those girls I never kissed;

All the nights I could have been pissed;

Yes! All the temptations I did resist;

Fuck it!

The time is short; it's running out.

Bring me another pint of stout.

And Girls, line up along the wall;

For Krunchie wants to ride you all:

Hop to it!

Copyright

You may copy the poems for your own amusement, but you may not distribute or perform any poem publicly or for reward until you have obtained my consent.

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