Contents:

·         Cat

·         Caterpillar

·         Christmas When

·         Frankie Wankie

·         Junira Nations

·         Approaching Twenty

·         Mná

·         Joan Maguire

·         My Love Bites

·         Lily White Breast

·         Alan Mullally’s Song (Now I’m Leaving)

·         The Hero

·         Kim Bassinger’s Diet

·         Statue

·         The Great God Pan

·         Worms

·         Spare a Thought

·         Resolution

·         Jimmy Loves Mary

·         Books

·         In Slattery’s

·         Krunchy and Milady

·         The Da

·         The Great Six-O

·         My Garden

·         Female Modes of Dress (or The Miniskirt)

·         Good Morning

·         The Dance in the Village Hall

·         Typing Section

·         Vacant Mood

·         Do You Yen for a Feel

·         Obsessed

·         Silver Wedding

·         Corrakit

·         The Civil Servant

·         The New Daughter of Houlihan

·         Mayo in July

·         Home Computers

·         Lewinsky

·         Jacussy

·         Tit Shaking

·         Paddy Macaroni

·         Hour on a Bean

The Outrageous Poems of Krunchie Killeen:

APPROACHING TWENTY

I have lived.

But soon, I see, I will have reached

The crabbed, old age of twenty,

Whence forth I shall frown

On all those sweet enjoyments

Which made life dear,

And crawl

From day to day with toil

Like all old men.

Heyday, thou art done!

Inevitable age will soon possess my bones,

Thoughts dull and sombre

Take refuge in my mind,

For no man can escape

The clawing clutch of time.

Such is life!

But, is it life at all

To scorn the jive

And slowly take the floor

With formal step and stiff hinges

And have no wind for Twist?

For such sloth shall be mine,

Like all others,

Soon.

Soon, I shall spoof no more at Dáil na nÓg[1]

And waste less hectic energy

On the sixteen hand reel

And sneer with green envy at barbarous youth,

Which now I love, – there is no other life.

I'll point my finger at the teens

And call them Crazy, Mixed Up,

As the Twenties of my day did me,

And spend all the rest of my existence

Crawling out.

Copyright

You may copy the poems for your own amusement, but you may not distribute or perform any poem publicly or for reward until you have obtained my consent.

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